Having lost my own mother 2 ½ years ago, and going through an extremely rough patch in my marriage, I finally asked God back into my life after resolutely turning my back on Him for many years.   I did not realize the extent of the changes He would make in my life, and how profoundly those changes would impact my family.  Prior to that, I had always thought of myself as a “good and decent person.”  I always (or so I told myself) tried to treat others the way that I wanted to be treated.  Now, I know that that just isn’t good enough; and that our humanly best effort doesn’t come close to his omnipotent least.  However, I have come to the realization the God has worked His biggest miracle in me with regards to my children.

I promised myself as a youngster that my children, if I ever had them (this was before I decided I wouldn’t, and then did anyway) would never be abused and they would never be spanked with anything other than a hand to their bottoms, if even then.  I never realized that there is more than one way to abuse a child, and that my yelling and irritability came dangerously close to being such.  Because of the Holy Spirit working to produce its fruits, my self control and patience has increased a hundredfold.  As a result there is more gentleness, kindness and goodness in my behaviors towards my children.  We all have more joy and we are beginning to learn how to truly love one another.  We have only to look at 1 Corinthians 13 to gauge whether or not we are demonstrating the love that God gives to us, and commands us to give to one another.  In that chapter, love is defined as being patient and kind; not jealous or boastful, proud or rude; not demanding of its own way; it’s not irritable and keeps no record of wrongdoing.  It rejoices whenever truth wins out and never gives up, never loses faith, is always helpful and endures every circumstance.   How can we possibly be modeling this if we are yelling at our children, and getting irritated at them every time they make our lives a little more difficult- just by acting like what they are- children.  In regards to our spouses, if we are resentful towards them when they don’t act just like they did when we were courting; or if they sometimes want to watch a ball game on TV, instead of cuddle up in front of a fire, we are again failing to model this definition.

Just the other day, I was researching some parenting resources for this article, and learned of an organization called ScreamFree Living, in which parents are shown how to relate to their children without losing their cool, and in so doing, become more accurate witnesses of Christ’s love.  This is very important, as our children will view God in much the same way that they view us.  We are to them a representation of God.  Especially when they are young, and don’t yet know that we are imperfect.  The organization’s founding partner Hal Edward Runkel LMFT has written a book entitled ScreamFree Parenting, which is a great resource for those of you that would welcome additional ideas on how to handle your children on a day to day basis.  This book and site are by no means intended only for temperamental parents.  The information is intended to be beneficial for all parents; hence the success of ScreamFree Marriage and ScreamFree Leadership studies (information on these is also available on the site.)  I highly recommend this book, but that’s just this woman’s opinion.  Love In Him and Blessings On Your Home.

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