The Ultimate Love Language
Something amazing happens to our hearts when we pray for another person. The hardness melts. We become able to get beyond the hurts, and forgive. We even end up loving the person we are praying for. It's miraculous! It happens because when we pray we enter into the presence of God and He fills us with His Spirit of love. When you pray for your husband, the love of God will grow in your heart for him. Not only that, you'll find love growing in his heart for you, without him even knowing you are praying. That's because prayer is the ultimate love language. It communicates in ways we can't.
In the verse for this month, Romans 5:1-2a, we learn that because of our justification through faith in Christ we have "gained access" (NIV) to the Father. This access gives us the privilege to sit at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to improve our marriage, to bless our husbands, and to make us into the wives that He wants us to be. Not only do we have the privilege to make these requests, we have a responsibility to make these requests for the sake of our marriage and our spouse.
Take a few minutes to think about what improvements you would like to see in your marriage. Do you and your husband need more time together? Do you need time alone without the kids? Do you need wisdom in financial matters or in your children's schooling options? Make a list and start praying today. Ask your husband what changes he would like to see in your marriage and pray about them together.
Now, think about how you can bless your husband through prayer. Did you notice that I didn't say, "think about what changes you want to see in your husband"? The changes will come in time as you learn how to pray for your husband. First, think about what your husband is facing today. Does he have a presentation to give at work? Does he have a tight schedule and might have to miss your daughter's soccer game this afternoon? Is he struggling to know God's purpose for him? Does he need to meet Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior?
Pray for the challenges that your husband will face today. If he has a meeting with a difficult client at 10:00, pray for him now then set the timer or some other alarm to remind you to pray for wisdom and self-control for both him and the client before and during the meeting. If he has to make choices on priorities, pray that he will be able to prioritize his schedule in a way that shows his love for you and the kids. If he gets caught up at work and can't get away, pray that he will know that you love him anyway and that you understand that he is working to provide for you and the kids.
If your husband doesn't know the Lord, covenant that you will pray for him every day to hear God's voice and to obey. There is no greater joy than to have this prayer answered.
And what about you? What should you be praying for yourself? Take a deep breath. "Lord, change me." That's right. Read I Corinthians 13. Are you patient? Are you kind? Are you easily angered? Do you rejoice in the truth? Ask the Lord to reveal to you the changes that need to made in you to make you the wife your husband needs you to be. Not the wife you think you should be - the wife your husband needs you to be.
You might see a few changes right away in your marriage, your husband, and yourself, but this commitment to pray will be a lifelong endeavor. Just as you have covenanted to be married "until death do you part," prayer for the improvement of your marriage is a privilege you will undertake each and every day "until death do you part."
It may seem hard now. It may seem that you are praying and nothing is happening. One day, though, you will see that you are changing. There is a spring in your step, there is a smile when you and your husband see each other again at the end of day, there is hope for a marriage that is rooted and grounded in Christ Jesus.
Sooner or later you will see changes in your husband and in your marriage. God will answer your prayers in ways you cannot even imagine. Both of you will be forever changed by speaking the ultimate love language: prayer.
About the Author
Claudia Pate is starting her second career as a freelance writer. Married with three step-sons, a daughter-in-law, and two grandchildren, she writes about marriage at Celebrate Wedding Anniversaries.
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