Mothers Prefer Part Time
As a mother of two facing the finale of living-at-home kids, the
part-time work I managed to sneak in between the diapers duty years and
the senior-year college visitation road trips, was my own personal
sanity time. Whether it was working part-time at the local YMCA,
shooting a family reunion, or writing a small article on the high
school band finals, I was able to re-connect with myself away from my
children and my home, even if it was only for a few hours. But let’s
get it straight; I felt guilty the whole time.
“Motherhood is
laden with guilt,” said Jenn Satterwhite, in her article, “Guilt: The
Mommy Kind and the Work Kind,” from BlogHer.com. According to
Satterwhite, mommy-guilt kept her awake at night wondering how she
could work and also give her children the benefits of an at-home
mother. Furthermore, she said if someone is going to have to suffer,
how would she limit that to herself and not her children?”
As
I look back the past 20 years, I don’t know if working part-time made
any lasting negative affects on my children. To be honest, I think my
children were happy to see me leave sometimes. By moving into the
“working mom world” I allowed myself to spruce up occasionally beyond
sweats and a T-shirt, curl my hair, and shut off the audio-record
player in my head saying, “pick that up and put it away.”
But
please, I am not discounting full-time working mothers whom have chosen
or must work because of single-parenthood or financial reasons. The
workday boundaries of a working mother are sometimes blurred between
either working overtime to taking work home with them at least once a
week, reported the Xylo Report, a national survey on work/life issues.
Again, mommy-guilt is prevalent in that scenario.
Fortunately, I
found working part-time a balanced solution for myself during those
years where I wanted to tear my hair out when yet another glass of
cherry Kool-aid was spilt outside the safe zone of the kitchen
linoleum.
Either way, women are in need of support for
whatever choice they make to raise their families. I guess this is why
it is so important for women to seek out other women who may be in the
same stage of life or life situation. Whether it is connecting
online with a friend on a women’s website, for example, the Christian
Women’s Resources.com, or gobbling down fries with another stressed out
mom while all the kids climb on a plastic playground for an hour; the
journey may be easier when it is done with a network of friends.
I
truly believe God did not plan for women to walk alone through
motherhood. Because of so much mobility and changing employment
habits, many women are living hours away from their mothers, sisters
and life long friends.
Even though we are faced with days of
doubt on the decisions to either stay home or to go back to work, I
believe most mothers base their decisions on what is best for their
children.
For times of uncertainty, I cherish the serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
About the Author
Copyright 2007 by Sharon Dunten, a Christian photojournalist and writer from Indianapolis, Indiana. Sharon feels her call is to photograph and write about poverty, injustice and to give a voice to those who feel they have not been heard. Sharon’s website is under construction.
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